Rise and Fall

Rise and fall.  That’s what it’s all about.  Flowing with the stream, in the currents of life.  Not fighting them tooth and nail.  The ocean is my home. Whenever I visit it I feel like I’m returning home.  If I’m away for too long, I long for it.  Long for the sound of lapping waves against the seashore.  The slapping of salty water against slick rocks coated in seaweed. 

Right now I’m missing the tinge of salt in my mouth, and the spray against my skin.  I get distracted from the currents of life.  I let myself lose touch with my connection to all that is.  It’s not always a conscious decision.  Sometimes it is.  I get fed up with the frustrations of life.  I look to distract and sedate.  Distract from the problems I don’t want to face in whatever particular moment it happens to fall upon me.  I sedate with whatever is appropriate at the time.  And when I say appropriate, I mean whatever I feel like.   Maybe it’s a stiff drink.  It could be this, or that.  All depends my mood. 

A little distraction is fine.  A lot of sedation can be a problem.  Used to be more of an issue than it is now.  Life waxes and wanes and the tides are affected in unexpected ways.  Some nights the moon’s pull pulls that crazy right out of us, if we let it.  Fun to let it ride on occasion.  In life you have to walk the line to truly live.  The trouble comes when you cross the line and forget to balance it back on the other side.

I’m feeling kind of flat right now.  Rekindling of Faith is necessary.  A little deep breathing to take check on my self.  See what’s going on on the inside.  I mask the truth of the matter sometimes.  I let myself hide within distraction.  Right now I’m making the conscious decision to abstain from watching TV.  There’s a few shows I like to watch via Netflix that are quite good, and somewhat addictive.  You could watch a couple episodes a night and suddenly you realize, shit, it’s time for bed.  Every now and then I try to make it a point to take a little TV fast.  Now is that time. 

I’m here writing, doing my best to round out the flatness in my life.  Letting the words sputter out of me.  The thoughts and feelings reaching out in the world to be experienced by the soundboards of the Universe.  Will anybody listen?  Maybe.  Could happen.  What’s important at this juncture is the process.  The flow.  The lowering of the dam.  Got to let this shit flow.  Can’t hold on to the sludgy build up. 

I don’t feel like I’m the only one in this boat.  There’s others out there like me.  Well maybe not like me, but possibly experiencing similar life dilemmas.  Challenges that need to be risen up to.  This process of writing for me, is such.  There’s a fine line of writing to create an experience for others, and then, writing for your self.  I’d love to reach out to others with hope’s of assisting them along their way, through the likeness of experiences.  On the other hand there is the necessity to simple write the journey down. 

What it comes down to is this:  I’m doing this for me.  I’m also doing this for you.  If it happens to assist you in some way, great.  If it intrigues you, fine.  It’s all good.  Even if you despise the words, think I’m totally off my rocker, it ok.  Feel as you may.  Think as you will.  It Is- What It Is.

I’ll be writing, talking about ME, suddenly, BOOM!, now I’m talking about you.  Could be I’m talking about both of us simultaneously.  I could use a bit more structure at times, but when you’re writing from the cusp, shooting from the heart, you have to let it fly.  It’s a little down and dirty at times, but its real.  And real is what’s most important to me.  So if you’re into real, step aboard, come along for a little ride.  You know what will come of this all?  Who knows what will become of this all??  Some days it boring blah, the next its crazy shit blowing all over the place.  You’ll never know till you take your first step on the Jimmy Express J.

Now that we’ve got that out in the open, we can jump in and go for a swim.

The ocean is home.  My home.  I am water.  It’s my element.  An integral part of my sign.  I am of the emotions.  I unlike other water signs, choose to dive deep into the world of my own inner workings.  I will say its kind wild up in here.  My exterior can appear to be calm waters upon the surface, but kid you not, there is some intense currents that lie within the depth of this ocean.  Ripples flow through me like lightening.  Waves crash within me and leave me trembling.  This is why I breathe.  I take deep breaths consciously throughout the day.  It keeps the waves from turning tidal on me.  Without the rhythms of my breath I would soon be as the broken home, beaten down by the force of the storm.  The fury of nature can overcome me if I let it.  It sounds crazy, but it’s the best way I can describe it.

If life is an ocean, which it is, then I am a sailor upon this sea.  I am in my vessel, doing my best to catch the currents, embrace the winds in my sail, and all at once not be thrashed against the rocks of life’s obstacles.  It takes a certain kind of determination and courage to navigate the open waters of this wild ocean.  You can go out into it blind and see where the wind takes you, but you can be quite certain it’s not going to end pretty.  Or you can embrace the storm and welcome the calm waters that follow.  Ride the swells and do all you can to guide your boat in a direction that feels right for you.  Sometimes we’ve been known to let someone else take control and steer our vessel.  This is fine for while.  This can be how we learn.  But pay close attention to the captain, because if you ever want to truly live, you’re going to have take to the helm and navigate through your personal stormy waters, solo.  This is living.  Facing fears, letting go of the hurts from days past, and creating a journey that flows with the currents of life’s grand ocean.  That’s some shit!

I go at it a day at a time.  Today for awhile was alright.  Not great, decent.  It fell a little flat somewhere along the way, but its picking up.  I am beginning to feel the roundness of the Earth once again.  There is ocean out there, and it goes round and round.  I haven’t seen anybody fall of the edge thus far.  But you never know… People who believe in limits often find themselves banging their heads up against them.  It’s those of us who make the conscious choice to live life large, without borders, that really discover the true richness in life.  We learn to let go of limiting concepts.  We break free of the constraints society tries to program us with.  We write the program.  Our operating system needs a reboot.  Now we create a new system that works best for us.  It’s a beautiful play that is changing minute by minute.  Moment by moment we lay down new and vibrant colors, creating the masterpiece’s of our lives, with each precious stroke felt upon the canvas.

In an Ocean of tremendous currents and fierce winds, we as warriors of own making will uncover a world as great and wonder-filled as any dream imagined.  Our imaginations will guide us to the making of beauty exposed, naked and vulnerable to the world.  This is living raw, yet not without direction, not without destiny.  You know in your heart those currents that will carry you to an awakening of all your faculties, opening you up to life like you never known it before.   It’s beyond the known.  It’s where faith opens a door to a new reality.  A reality where anything is possible.  It’s here right before you, you only need open the door. 

I’ve slowly been uncovering the origins of life.  Its deep, and yet it right here all the time.  All the time.  It only need be realized.  Glimpses I’ve experienced have left me speechless.  I only try to formulate words to express, and yet they fall short.  Jimi Hendrix says it best; “Have you ever been experienced? Yaaaa….”   An experience of this nature will leave you reeling.  Your mind has no chance of wrapping concepts around the possibilities that swim in this deep ocean.  You can point fingers in the right direction, but until you take the wheel and steer towards it, you will only be skirting along the shore.  Being safe and secure doesn’t take you here.  You need to be willing to be exposed to the elements.  I’m not saying don’t prepare yourself.  That’s a wise idea and a story for another day.  But I will quickly say introspection is helpful.  Meditation on the workings of life might be of aid.  Taking a daily, ”check your head” and then taking action to be the best you can be, all these actions will help you weather the storm of life’s torrent possibilities.  Who knows though, maybe it’ll be a walk in the park for you.  My experience has not been that, but hey, you’re not me, you’re you.  I wish you well on that journey if you decide to take the ride.  Watch out though, sometimes it creeps up on you!

Now I’m taking a deep DEEP breath.  I’ve got to.  I might blow away otherwise.  My breathing keeps me grounded in this reality.  I aspire to jump into other realities, but I’m a realist at times, and I realize my mind needs more determination and courage before I can enjoy the depths of playing into multiple realities.  Sounds like fun though.  Today I’m happy to say I’m at the helm of my vessel.  I may be taking some zigzag turn around trips, but I’m on my way.  Each day is a step towards a deeper realization of who I am and “what, what’s its all about”.

Today is winding down, at least in this reality.  In my dreams lies a whole other story, a reality that’s goes beyond even this, but it plays on melodies that resonate throughout this reality too.  That’s also a story for another day.  As this evening closes I bid you all a du.  I send you all a little ripple~~~~~~ to stir your boat.  I hope your dreams are awakening to a life that embraces the ups and downs, the never ending rise and fall of the oceans waves.  Take joy in the rise, and stock in the fall.  We can learn from both.  This is all an experience, life’s journey teaching us to embrace each breath and live to the fullest, all while bringing dreams to life.

Dream well.*

~Jimmy Page~

Mold. Out with the Old.

I've been power-washing my house for the past few days.  Its a tedious job.  I've done it before and have come to the conclusion that the way I'm doing it is not the easiest way to go about it, but its the way that works for me.  I thought about using some harsh chemicals. Not really big fan of toxic chemicals.  I got a few bottles of biodegradable environmental friendly house wash.  Turns out environmentally friendly is friendly to the environment, not so much to me.  The stuff sucks.  It just doesn't work.

I decided that I would once again do the job the old fashion way, with lots of elbow grease.  I'm not afraid of a little, or a lot in this case, hard work.  If there's an easier way that makes sense to me and I feel good about, then great, but that wasn't the case in this instance.

The job goes like this;  I suit up.  Goggles to keep the mold and backspray out of my eyes, crappy shorts, crappy shirt, and gloves to protect my sensitive hands.  Yes gloves.  My hands are cracked and irritated enough with out being soaked hours on end with house yuck.  Then I pull the twenty-four foot fiberglass extension ladder off my truck.  I only mention that it's fiberglass to give an idea how heavy the ladder, compared to say an aluminum ladder, which would be about half the weight.  I haul that baby up up up and gently prop it up against the house.  I pull out the power-washer, start her up, connect hoses and begin my ascent to the top of the ladder.

Now the fun begins.  I say that somewhat jokingly, but I don't hate this job.  Some weird part of me finds a certain satisfaction in this cleaning process.  Its not a day at the beach, but it alright.  So now, I'm a couple stories off the ground.  I hit the trigger and the nozzle comes to life.  It truly is a POWER washer.  The thing delivers and intense stream of high powered water.  No soap, tried that, just water (with lot's of pressure).  I begin to make strategic swipes at the siding.  I keep the nozzle about four to six inches away from the house.  This is the optimum distance for removing the tough little mold spores that like to chill in the texture of the siding.  Inch by Inch I go.  Every square inch needs to be hit.

I'm a thorough kind of guy.  I like things done just so.  If its not done properly I get a little crazy.  I always like to tell my son, Any job worth doing, is worth doing well.  These are words to live by.  I try to put the best of myself in everything I do.  Does it always happen? No, but I keep on keepin on, doing my best as much as I possibly can.

This job takes a long time, but the further into it I go, the more I know this is how it needs to be done, at least for me anyways.  I do a section, I step back and take a look, looks good!  Nice.  Sure its a lot of work, but shit is gettin' done,  and at the end of day that's satisfying.

So I'm out there sprayin' my little heart away,  I start thinking about things.  How I want to write more, and what about.  I look a little deeper into things then some, you could say.  It comes to me how this task I am doing relates to (my)life on a grander scale.  I start to think how certain things in my life need addressing, need cleaning so to speak.  Interior house keeping lets call it.  The house is my self, my soul, my being.  If you don't take check on this, shit gets clogged up.  Stagnancy is one of the worst things for soul.  That's how the mold grows.  And molds no good.  You got to clean that shit quick, or it builds up, and that's when real difficulties start showing up.

Not to get to off track, but I do believe that half the illnesses in this world, easily more, are a result of poor interior house keeping.  And remember the house is you, or me, in this case.  You have to keep your house in order, you have check on things that are usually undercover.  Old hurts from yester year can suddenly turn into today's illnesses.  What I'm getting at is that we need to keep ourselves in check.  You've got to do the hard jobs sometimes, you may not always like it, but a little hard work goes a long way to your overall well being.

I'm power-washing.  I'm getting rid of shit that's been sitting around for far too long.  The tough part about this job is that I let it sit too long.  The longer it sits, the harder it is to deal with.  The harder I have to work to make it shine.  I am, while doing this job, quickly seeing the bigger picture.  The important topics in my life that I have neglected only grow tougher to address as time goes on.  For me its a lack of taking action on the things the lay dormant, but filled with awaiting passion deep within my heart.  A passion to be exposed; to be enjoyed by myself and others, sharing my dreams with the world.  Dreams of better day, but not a better day to hope for in some distant tomorrow, a better day to be created and embraced today, in this very moment.  To make the most of every breath of my life.  To live out loud with love in my heart, radiating outwards into the world with joyful currents to be felt by all who wish to embrace them! They're not all huge elephants in the room (or maybe they are!), but together their lack of upkeep results in a disharmony in my life.  Little big things adding up to become mountains over time.  If I would just keep tabs on my self on a regular basis, there would be much greater balance in my life.  Its fun to climb mountains, but eventually your going to want to reach the top and shout your blessings out into the world to echo upon the ears of the Universe.  Success felt singular is great, but a success embraced in the hearts of many is a true triumph of the soul.

Time goes by and we wish we would do this or that.  Time goes faster and faster still, and we find ourselves struggling to keep up.  Before we know it years have gone by and the dreams we've kept on the shelf have collected layers of dust while awaiting our action.  This is where power-washing comes in.  I have to laugh at the irony of all this, but its spot on.  You have to step with-in and take a good look at what's not working in life.  Pull the wool off your eyes and  see what you've been missing.  What's holding you back from truly living?  What's keeping you from thriving?  This is where you pull out your metaphorical power-washer and blast that shit.  Get rid of the old.  Blast the mold out of town.  Clean your house.  Take the time, make the time to do a little hard work to make a difference in your life.  To uncover the secrets in yourself that will make you shine.  Ya baby!

The party's not over yet.  It's just beginning.

I continue on my power-washing journey and I discover myself in a section of my house where three separate sides come together to form a little nook of sorts.  The point of interest here lies in the play of light and dark;  Shadows and light, and how they play little tricks on the eyes and mind.  The deeper you look into them, the more stories unfold.  The shadow at first appears to hide what lays directly in front of you, while the direct sun shows what's right in front of your face.  But on further inspection you begin to find if you look more carefully into the shadow side, you soon begin to see the details that lay hidden in the grooves missed at first glance.  The sun shines bright just inches away, and yet its almost blinding.  The Sun blends in the imperfections, disguising them with brightness.  Its trickery at its best.

Introspection leads me deeper into the heart of this matter.  I ponder my own shadows, seeking to expose issues I may be missing.  Everyday life has always shared with me kindness and prosperity.  I may not be the richest of rich when it comes to monetary devices, but let it be known, my prosperity is of the kind money can not buy.  And for this I am eternally thankful.  But when I dive a little deeper into the pool of me, I see another side hidden from the light of day.  Its not a place that society encourages or much less mentions, or openly teaches to swim within, yet let us not kid ourselves, there's a darkness in us all that is in need of some introspection to bring forth a little more of our true self into the world.

We start asking deeper questions.  What am I here for?  Is it to work some 40 odd hours a week, only to spend hard earned monies on the weekend, to give some worth to working our asses off all week? Our we fulfilled with our life in all its many facets?  Maybe some of us are.  I would like to hope so anyways.  But I know I for one have lots of living left to do.  And when I say living, I mean discovering, creating, uncovering those things in life that bring true joy to the heart.  Living life wide open, not afraid of the shit hitting the fan.  In order to truly live we're gonna have to take chances.  Sometimes things are going to work out, and other time shit's gonna hit the fan and its gonna be messy!  This is part of life.  So you take a shower.  You wipe the shit of life off your face.  You get back on that horse and ride baby!!  That's what I'm talking about.

To find this hidden shit you have to be brave, courageous even.  You have to be an adventurer, and explorer, a trail blazer.  You (I) have to go within and uncover the truth of who you are, and then you have to take a deep breath and jump.  Bring your passion to this life.  If your already bringing it, GREAT!  Bring more of it.  What brings you joy?  Do that shit!  What makes your heart skip a beat and makes your eyes open wide in amazement?  That's the shit.  And when I speak to this "shit", I'm talking about the best "shit" in the world.  Maybe "shit" is not the best word to describe this phenomenon, but it sure feels right! HAha!!

Let us not be confused here;  I do love the light.  I love to bask in it most days of my life.  The darkness can be of benefit too.  It contains the parts of ourselves that hold us back from living in the light more fully each moment.  When we step into this room within, we shine light on the challenges in our life that prevent us from moving forward and expanding into more of our truest self.  We were born to create, to live in joy, to learn, to love, to experience the many facets of life has to offer us.  Anything that blocks this road, this journey to a greater realization of ourselves needs our full attention.  Its needs to be shown in the light and either dealt with in some fashion, or simply let it go. The choice is of our own making.  It takes a brave warrior of the soul to step onto this battlefield.  It's no joke.  I like to have fun and poke around in the waters of life, but kid you not, this is some serious shit.  It's not for everyone in this lifetime, but all the same, its here for everyone to face when they choose to turn about to it.

SOoo.........I'm power-washing.  I'm doing my best to step up to the plate.  I swinging for the stars. Shootin' for the Moon.  I getting rid of the Mold in my life.  Letting go of the old and in the way.  Making way for the next stage of my journey.  It's a beautiful day.  I am grateful to be alive and share my joy with the world.  I send my love out to you all on waves of ocean, filled with rainbows to enrich your soul and expand the eyes of the world.

That's the "shit" I'm talkin' bout!

Love to you all :)
~Jimmy Page~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rising Up

In the beginning life was simple and sweet.  Not a care in the world besides experiencing life to the fullest.  Life was a playground to endlessly dance upon, swirling and swerving, jumping and bopping to the ever changing currents of life.  Somewhere along the way we lost that magical feeling.  The God given right to express our self freely, open as the best of books, being in-joy and enjoyed by all.

Each moment of life up till the point of loss, our so called loss of innocence, there was an inherent knowing.  Life was a precious gem to behold, and we knew never to hold on to any one moment too tight.  The river took us and we were willingly in love with every second of the ride.

Where was it we decided to fall out of reach from the tides of life?  When did we decide to let ourselves be washed up on shore loosing touch and taste with the salt of life?  No part of it holds a comprehend-able logic.  When we are conscious sailors on the sea of life we are connected intimately with the currents that rise and fall.  We used to know when to rest and when to exert ourselves.  Our bodies were connected to our minds and knew just how to heal itself.  This loss didn't happen overnight, but at this point it sure feels that way.

It was a step by step process.  This systematic dismantling of our childhood glee, the sly extortion of our innocence.  Society ever so gently put its foot down, and before we could be aware of the machine we were falling into we looked up and were standing in line like obedient children eager to please the system of our making.  Molded and coerced into believing how things were, were the way they must be.  Stand in line.  Take your medicine. Pay your taxes (no matter how exorbitant the rate). And by all means, eat whatever your told is best(with no questions asked).

Sure we moaned and bitched along the way, But we always found ourselves standing in this predetermined line.  Who decided this was the way it should be?  Who said it was ok?  I guess it was all of us.  The funny and more so sad part of all this is, does any of us ever remember agreeing that this is the way life should be??

Waking up and smelling the stank, many of us are becoming keenly aware that THIS IS NOT OK!  Today is a new day, and now is the time to remember the child inside us that still dreams of a brighter day, an amazing day filled with endless potential and possibilities.  In our heart lay the beauty of a child's wild joy.  A joy that knows no bounds.  An imagination that reaches beyond the limits of the sky into uncharted territories.  Its in each and everyone of us.  This is the truth we need to uncover, to rediscover and bring into the light of this new day.  No more living in the lie that someone else thought was a good idea to push upon everyone.

In a child's heart grows the imaginings to recreate this joy within the hearts and minds of our adult selves.  The gift that awaits us all will only be opened and embraced with knowing that joy is experienced by living within the moment, by realizing that each moment is as precious as the next.  Discovering that the love we all yearn for has always been with us.  When we re-awaken to our heightened possibilities we will live in a knowing that we our beings of love and limitless creation. With our hearts united we will embrace in one love and live our life's to the fullest, rising up into the god's and goddess's we born to be.

:)
By
~Jimmy Page~