Rise and fall. That’s what it’s all about. Flowing with the stream, in the currents of life. Not fighting them tooth and nail. The ocean is my home. Whenever I visit it I feel like I’m returning home. If I’m away for too long, I long for it. Long for the sound of lapping waves against the seashore. The slapping of salty water against slick rocks coated in seaweed.
Right now I’m missing the tinge of salt in my mouth, and the spray against my skin. I get distracted from the currents of life. I let myself lose touch with my connection to all that is. It’s not always a conscious decision. Sometimes it is. I get fed up with the frustrations of life. I look to distract and sedate. Distract from the problems I don’t want to face in whatever particular moment it happens to fall upon me. I sedate with whatever is appropriate at the time. And when I say appropriate, I mean whatever I feel like. Maybe it’s a stiff drink. It could be this, or that. All depends my mood.
A little distraction is fine. A lot of sedation can be a problem. Used to be more of an issue than it is now. Life waxes and wanes and the tides are affected in unexpected ways. Some nights the moon’s pull pulls that crazy right out of us, if we let it. Fun to let it ride on occasion. In life you have to walk the line to truly live. The trouble comes when you cross the line and forget to balance it back on the other side.
I’m feeling kind of flat right now. Rekindling of Faith is necessary. A little deep breathing to take check on my self. See what’s going on on the inside. I mask the truth of the matter sometimes. I let myself hide within distraction. Right now I’m making the conscious decision to abstain from watching TV. There’s a few shows I like to watch via Netflix that are quite good, and somewhat addictive. You could watch a couple episodes a night and suddenly you realize, shit, it’s time for bed. Every now and then I try to make it a point to take a little TV fast. Now is that time.
I’m here writing, doing my best to round out the flatness in my life. Letting the words sputter out of me. The thoughts and feelings reaching out in the world to be experienced by the soundboards of the Universe. Will anybody listen? Maybe. Could happen. What’s important at this juncture is the process. The flow. The lowering of the dam. Got to let this shit flow. Can’t hold on to the sludgy build up.
I don’t feel like I’m the only one in this boat. There’s others out there like me. Well maybe not like me, but possibly experiencing similar life dilemmas. Challenges that need to be risen up to. This process of writing for me, is such. There’s a fine line of writing to create an experience for others, and then, writing for your self. I’d love to reach out to others with hope’s of assisting them along their way, through the likeness of experiences. On the other hand there is the necessity to simple write the journey down.
What it comes down to is this: I’m doing this for me. I’m also doing this for you. If it happens to assist you in some way, great. If it intrigues you, fine. It’s all good. Even if you despise the words, think I’m totally off my rocker, it ok. Feel as you may. Think as you will. It Is- What It Is.
I’ll be writing, talking about ME, suddenly, BOOM!, now I’m talking about you. Could be I’m talking about both of us simultaneously. I could use a bit more structure at times, but when you’re writing from the cusp, shooting from the heart, you have to let it fly. It’s a little down and dirty at times, but its real. And real is what’s most important to me. So if you’re into real, step aboard, come along for a little ride. You know what will come of this all? Who knows what will become of this all?? Some days it boring blah, the next its crazy shit blowing all over the place. You’ll never know till you take your first step on the Jimmy Express J.
Now that we’ve got that out in the open, we can jump in and go for a swim.
The ocean is home. My home. I am water. It’s my element. An integral part of my sign. I am of the emotions. I unlike other water signs, choose to dive deep into the world of my own inner workings. I will say its kind wild up in here. My exterior can appear to be calm waters upon the surface, but kid you not, there is some intense currents that lie within the depth of this ocean. Ripples flow through me like lightening. Waves crash within me and leave me trembling. This is why I breathe. I take deep breaths consciously throughout the day. It keeps the waves from turning tidal on me. Without the rhythms of my breath I would soon be as the broken home, beaten down by the force of the storm. The fury of nature can overcome me if I let it. It sounds crazy, but it’s the best way I can describe it.
If life is an ocean, which it is, then I am a sailor upon this sea. I am in my vessel, doing my best to catch the currents, embrace the winds in my sail, and all at once not be thrashed against the rocks of life’s obstacles. It takes a certain kind of determination and courage to navigate the open waters of this wild ocean. You can go out into it blind and see where the wind takes you, but you can be quite certain it’s not going to end pretty. Or you can embrace the storm and welcome the calm waters that follow. Ride the swells and do all you can to guide your boat in a direction that feels right for you. Sometimes we’ve been known to let someone else take control and steer our vessel. This is fine for while. This can be how we learn. But pay close attention to the captain, because if you ever want to truly live, you’re going to have take to the helm and navigate through your personal stormy waters, solo. This is living. Facing fears, letting go of the hurts from days past, and creating a journey that flows with the currents of life’s grand ocean. That’s some shit!
I go at it a day at a time. Today for awhile was alright. Not great, decent. It fell a little flat somewhere along the way, but its picking up. I am beginning to feel the roundness of the Earth once again. There is ocean out there, and it goes round and round. I haven’t seen anybody fall of the edge thus far. But you never know… People who believe in limits often find themselves banging their heads up against them. It’s those of us who make the conscious choice to live life large, without borders, that really discover the true richness in life. We learn to let go of limiting concepts. We break free of the constraints society tries to program us with. We write the program. Our operating system needs a reboot. Now we create a new system that works best for us. It’s a beautiful play that is changing minute by minute. Moment by moment we lay down new and vibrant colors, creating the masterpiece’s of our lives, with each precious stroke felt upon the canvas.
In an Ocean of tremendous currents and fierce winds, we as warriors of own making will uncover a world as great and wonder-filled as any dream imagined. Our imaginations will guide us to the making of beauty exposed, naked and vulnerable to the world. This is living raw, yet not without direction, not without destiny. You know in your heart those currents that will carry you to an awakening of all your faculties, opening you up to life like you never known it before. It’s beyond the known. It’s where faith opens a door to a new reality. A reality where anything is possible. It’s here right before you, you only need open the door.
I’ve slowly been uncovering the origins of life. Its deep, and yet it right here all the time. All the time. It only need be realized. Glimpses I’ve experienced have left me speechless. I only try to formulate words to express, and yet they fall short. Jimi Hendrix says it best; “Have you ever been experienced? Yaaaa….” An experience of this nature will leave you reeling. Your mind has no chance of wrapping concepts around the possibilities that swim in this deep ocean. You can point fingers in the right direction, but until you take the wheel and steer towards it, you will only be skirting along the shore. Being safe and secure doesn’t take you here. You need to be willing to be exposed to the elements. I’m not saying don’t prepare yourself. That’s a wise idea and a story for another day. But I will quickly say introspection is helpful. Meditation on the workings of life might be of aid. Taking a daily, ”check your head” and then taking action to be the best you can be, all these actions will help you weather the storm of life’s torrent possibilities. Who knows though, maybe it’ll be a walk in the park for you. My experience has not been that, but hey, you’re not me, you’re you. I wish you well on that journey if you decide to take the ride. Watch out though, sometimes it creeps up on you!
Now I’m taking a deep DEEP breath. I’ve got to. I might blow away otherwise. My breathing keeps me grounded in this reality. I aspire to jump into other realities, but I’m a realist at times, and I realize my mind needs more determination and courage before I can enjoy the depths of playing into multiple realities. Sounds like fun though. Today I’m happy to say I’m at the helm of my vessel. I may be taking some zigzag turn around trips, but I’m on my way. Each day is a step towards a deeper realization of who I am and “what, what’s its all about”.
Today is winding down, at least in this reality. In my dreams lies a whole other story, a reality that’s goes beyond even this, but it plays on melodies that resonate throughout this reality too. That’s also a story for another day. As this evening closes I bid you all a du. I send you all a little ripple~~~~~~ to stir your boat. I hope your dreams are awakening to a life that embraces the ups and downs, the never ending rise and fall of the oceans waves. Take joy in the rise, and stock in the fall. We can learn from both. This is all an experience, life’s journey teaching us to embrace each breath and live to the fullest, all while bringing dreams to life.