What's weird is I seem to be comfortable here. Whatever that means. I suppose it means I like where I am right now. I am in space created out of the goodness and rightness of my heart. Its a nice play to be.
I have many things to do, and here I am. I am here. And this is my choice to be here. And we live with our choices. Sometimes I think its wise to ponder our choices before acting upon them. I would like to follow this advice more often myself. I sometimes do, I sometimes don't. I guess in the ebb and flow of life we need to make the best of what ever choices we make. Even the shitty choices were made for a reason. It may not be a very good reason, but I think its important that we take a hard look at why we make the choices we do. Why?
I for one have made some fairly stupid choices along the way. But without working through some of the choices I have made in the past I would not be where I am today. I for this I am grateful. Because even though my life is not a shining gem, its has come along way from dull stone it once was. Still there is much work to be done, and so it goes.
It feels good to be back in the saddle again. When I write my world seems to unravel into this beautifully woven quilt that is still in the midst of its divine creation. And even though at times it looks more like a ball of twisted yarn, I know in my heart of hearts that there is a divinely wonderful creation unfolding before my very eyes.
So some days I choose to be wise, and other days, well let's say the wisdom seems to be playing a game a hide-n-seek with me. Where does this take me? Well it is true that we are a self created being that is built from our thoughts and dreams. What we think we become. Its a lot like, you are what you eat. This makes me a yummy apple pie a la mode some days and on others it makes me rotten eggs.
Thankfully I do not claim to be perfect. My perfectness lies within my connection to the whole, but that's a story for another day. So I roll with the punches. The waves of life are gifts that challenge us to learn to ride them higher and higher, and with more creativity and skill each day. The only place that I have been able to find this skill is through experience and practice. I would love to say the heavens one day dropped down a cloud of perfection upon me. But this with be a big cloud of B.S.
Throughout my life I have walked and sometimes stumbled through trials of living in my higher self. Once in awhile I am gifted with a glimpse of the divine connection that we all share. And more often I seem to walk myself into a fire, only to be burnt and then do what I can to heal myself. Yet it is within the healing that I have learned to be who I am. And this I am who I speak to is beyond words. And these words that cannot be expressed are the core truth of which I push for. So even trial by fire has its place in the scheme of things.
The moral of the story is we all learn in our own way, and within our own divine timing. It is all perfect, even if it often doesn't seem that way. In our darkest hours we only need remember that the light is still burning bright, and with courage we will find the way to walk into the light of a new day.
I say this to remind myself and whoever else might be listening, we our so much more than human. We our Beings and in this Being we are as expansive as our imaginations create us to be. SO be what you want to be. Be all that you can be. Burn through limitations. Rise above challenges. And break free from fears that are only but illusions built upon old emotions. Stop playing the same old record over and over again. Write a new life. Make it up as you go. Its your show, and no one knows what you need in your life more than you. So be. Be with love in your heart, joy in each step, harmony in you interactions with life, and gratitude for all your dreams come true. And they will!
-With a mountain of love-
~Jimmy~
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Eyes of a Flickering Flame
Some days can be a long road.
The twists that life presents us,
The ups and self created downs,
Its all part of the journey.
How can I hang on to something,
Something that is only but an illusion.
Mind of turning and yearning thoughts,
A million and one cross my path.
If I am a spinning top-
How do I stop?
Something always comes along to slow the motion.
Why does gravity effect me?
Thoughts are like bullets trying to pierce my mind.
Do I let them tear my beautiful mind?
Or do I create a clear path,
Letting them go........
The truth lies within my heart.
The answer can only be heard-
Within the silence of my Self.
What did you say??
Within me a flame is hiding.
Or am I hiding from it?
When I find this light
I shall be able to see through the dark of my night.
And when the thoughts are nothing more than a breeze,
I begin to flow with my eternal evolving Self.
The breath of fresh air lifts me up.
The rhythms of my soul lead me on.
When I say the road is long,
It's only as long as the path I choose.
With eyes of discernment-
My way is lit by the light of my ever burning flame.
By ~Jimmy Page~
The twists that life presents us,
The ups and self created downs,
Its all part of the journey.
How can I hang on to something,
Something that is only but an illusion.
Mind of turning and yearning thoughts,
A million and one cross my path.
If I am a spinning top-
How do I stop?
Something always comes along to slow the motion.
Why does gravity effect me?
Thoughts are like bullets trying to pierce my mind.
Do I let them tear my beautiful mind?
Or do I create a clear path,
Letting them go........
The truth lies within my heart.
The answer can only be heard-
Within the silence of my Self.
What did you say??
Within me a flame is hiding.
Or am I hiding from it?
When I find this light
I shall be able to see through the dark of my night.
And when the thoughts are nothing more than a breeze,
I begin to flow with my eternal evolving Self.
The breath of fresh air lifts me up.
The rhythms of my soul lead me on.
When I say the road is long,
It's only as long as the path I choose.
With eyes of discernment-
My way is lit by the light of my ever burning flame.
By ~Jimmy Page~
Monday, April 26, 2010
A Conscious Revolution
Is there anybody out there, or in here that can hear what I am saying. Just curious. I have and I am working, to share so much with the world. I feel this deep yearning to heal myself and the world. And so I am.
I have been trekking a path for some time now. Many ups and downs have come and gone. Right now is such an amazingly intense time to be alive. As we live and breathe, the world as we know it is in an immense shift. What we are experiencing is so BIG that its hard to even attempt to put it into words. But I'll give a go.
We are cleansing, globally, locally, collectively, and internally. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, flooding, terror, fear, rising stress levels, etc....: Upheaval. The World is like a big pressure cooker right now. The Earth is making way for a new day. In order to create a more harmonious world, we first must let go of what is no longer serving our highest goods.
And this is what we are experiencing. The inner turmoil that seems to be intensifying is merely the energy of life propelling us to take inventory of our lives, and let go of what no longer is serving us. This will enable us to make way for a new and more holistic lifestyle.
This process is referred to as mining. We dig within ourselves and pull up our deepest fears. Once we bring our issues to the surface we can then find the root cause that created the fear based beliefs. Once we find the root cause we can let go of that issue and make a new agreement that will better serve our highest good. This inner review allows us to find what works and what doesn't, and let go the old to make way for the new.
This is just a partial breath of what we are seeing and experiencing within our inner and outer worlds. The Unknown is opening its eternal arms and welcoming us into the conscious Kingdom of Heaven. Heaven on Earth!
It's a wonderful time to be alive and I am grateful to be breathing the breath of this new vision. Now is the time for our Conscious Revolution. With our united awareness we are walking into the hand of the Divine. Every cell of my Being is raising its vibration to its highest high. Enlightenment is rooting itself into to the core of The Earth, and with it we all are attaining enlightenment of our own accord.
Blessings to one and all. I send love out to Everyone and give thanks for the in- flowing joy that radiates within my Being.
Thank U for Being here!
Much Love,
~Jimmy~
I have been trekking a path for some time now. Many ups and downs have come and gone. Right now is such an amazingly intense time to be alive. As we live and breathe, the world as we know it is in an immense shift. What we are experiencing is so BIG that its hard to even attempt to put it into words. But I'll give a go.
We are cleansing, globally, locally, collectively, and internally. Earthquakes, Volcanoes, flooding, terror, fear, rising stress levels, etc....: Upheaval. The World is like a big pressure cooker right now. The Earth is making way for a new day. In order to create a more harmonious world, we first must let go of what is no longer serving our highest goods.
And this is what we are experiencing. The inner turmoil that seems to be intensifying is merely the energy of life propelling us to take inventory of our lives, and let go of what no longer is serving us. This will enable us to make way for a new and more holistic lifestyle.
This process is referred to as mining. We dig within ourselves and pull up our deepest fears. Once we bring our issues to the surface we can then find the root cause that created the fear based beliefs. Once we find the root cause we can let go of that issue and make a new agreement that will better serve our highest good. This inner review allows us to find what works and what doesn't, and let go the old to make way for the new.
This is just a partial breath of what we are seeing and experiencing within our inner and outer worlds. The Unknown is opening its eternal arms and welcoming us into the conscious Kingdom of Heaven. Heaven on Earth!
It's a wonderful time to be alive and I am grateful to be breathing the breath of this new vision. Now is the time for our Conscious Revolution. With our united awareness we are walking into the hand of the Divine. Every cell of my Being is raising its vibration to its highest high. Enlightenment is rooting itself into to the core of The Earth, and with it we all are attaining enlightenment of our own accord.
Blessings to one and all. I send love out to Everyone and give thanks for the in- flowing joy that radiates within my Being.
Thank U for Being here!
Much Love,
~Jimmy~
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A little something that resembles our collective lives. When I wrote this some time ago I was speaking to myself. Now I think that this is for us all
A Perfect Mess
My crazy mind is wrapped within this neat little package.
Yet the seams are unraveling,
It’s falling apart.
There’s a knock at the door,
It seems to come from both sides.
And all at once I hear,
“Let me out!”
“Let me in!”
So I sit for a moment and enjoy,
A crazy parade of unending life,
A tale of mind blowing degree.
It swirls within,
And without,
It’s circling all about.
Then the neatness,
It turns inside out,
Finally revealing the chaos,
I’ve been dreaming about.
It’s a beautiful mess,
And I begin to see clear through it.
And now I confess,
To wandering around,
In my neat little mess.
By ~Jimmy Page~
My crazy mind is wrapped within this neat little package.
Yet the seams are unraveling,
It’s falling apart.
There’s a knock at the door,
It seems to come from both sides.
And all at once I hear,
“Let me out!”
“Let me in!”
So I sit for a moment and enjoy,
A crazy parade of unending life,
A tale of mind blowing degree.
It swirls within,
And without,
It’s circling all about.
Then the neatness,
It turns inside out,
Finally revealing the chaos,
I’ve been dreaming about.
It’s a beautiful mess,
And I begin to see clear through it.
And now I confess,
To wandering around,
In my neat little mess.
By ~Jimmy Page~
Friday, March 12, 2010
A Rememberance
Love and the concept of. We toss around the word love, and sometimes I wonder if we truly realize the magnitude, yet utter simplicity of the word.
It frustrates me endlessly to be somehow eluded from the truest acceptance and feelings of this four letter word. Words are only words, it’s the feelings we put into a word that creates a wave of immeasurable energetic force.
What feelings have we infused into the word love, and what meanings have countless souls attempted to place on this monumental word? These questions have the capacity to be pondered for many moons. Even to scrape the surface of this quandary is to pull away the illusions of time.
Sitting here diving into the depths of my understandings, I begin to search, like a boy lost in the forest, yearning to reunite with his mother. Each tree that surrounds and seemingly reaches out to me contain the simplistic love that I try so hard to embrace, to accept, to be.
I ask myself over and over again, how can a force all encompassing as love, be so extremely hard to accept and deeply infuse into this being that I am. The knowledge contained on this subject is as vast as a canyon, and deep as the farthest reaches of the ocean. With all this knowledge, much which I have absorbed over my life times, and still, the simple deep seated feeling of love, continues to elude me.
The funny thing about all this/ is/ I do know love. It’s so simple, yet my silly little mind conjures up a giant bag of tricks, all the smoke and mirrors you can imagine, and with them they fog my lens and disturb the tranquil pool of understanding and acceptance that I know lies somewhere beneath the surface.
I have to constantly remind myself - love is all around me. It is this invisible force that infuses each and every cell of life.-
I suppose this is a big gripe in life for me. I ponder the difficulties of embracing such a simple yet unfathomable force of life. All the trials and tribulations of life, often pose such a threat/ to the remembrance/ of the soft breath of love/ which caresses each and every one of us/ with unending blessings.
Yet, when life bombards us with the daily upheavals of surviving, of keeping heads above water as we are tossed and tumbled in the collective calamities of everyday living, this is when we lose our connections.
I have to dig deep within myself to revive the beat of my heart, and remember the rhythms of love never die. It truly is, a wild ride, filled with intensity, mundanity, and everything in between.
But I do remember, and this is what’s most important. Love does exist, it lives and breathes within all of us. It envelops the entirety of existence and beyond. I find love in the littlest things; my son’s laugh as he entertains himself in a seemingly quiet corner. It’s the moment my child informs me that I am his best friend in the whole wide world. It lies within the snow, uplifted from the ground and dancing, sparkling in the morning rays of the glorious sun.
As I recall these memorable moments, the vibrancy of love, ignites my emotions, and stirs the tears of joy that lay on the edges of my eyes. And this, this is what blows my mind. How can such a beautiful beat of life be lost in the hum drum of ordinary everyday living?
I believe the solution is simple, ordinary needs to be transformed from its mundane existence, into the ever changing extraordinary. If we dare ourselves, we can, and will change the fog into the light of an exceptional new day.
Each and every moment has the opportunity to express to us, the force of love. The energy of the moment has endless possibilities. Our imaginations can guide us into an extraordinary life. With determination we can come to realize the undying love contained within each moment.
When I feel life bubbling with beauty, I breathe it in deep, and even though I must exhale, I know that within that breath I am absorbing the magic which is infused in each and every molecule of life. With this energetic boost I ignite the remembrance that love is as simple as a breath. The simplicity of love- is simply - the breath of life.
Nothing is separate from love. Love enraptures the entirety of the Universe. Its an endless web that intersects with each living thing and connects it all to the whole. We are all one.
As my breath rolls through me, I do my very best to know that the rhythm of my soul, is the rhythm of the Earth, and of the Universe. As you exhale the air from your lungs, I begin to inhale, and within this circle we become- unified- into one beautiful, living being.
Imagine the air as a strand of endless love. The trees emanate their love as the wind picks up and carries the sweet smell of the fruit bearing tree. In turn the strand moves forward and rolls into our nostrils, suddenly igniting our senses and connecting us with one of the many children of Earth. The strand continues on and you exhale, the air dances forth in a magical current that surges through all existence. The air rises higher and higher, and with it the moisture begins to fill the cloudy sky, it builds and builds, until suddenly it happens, RAIN. The strand extends itself further still. Blankets of wetness gently fall from the sky and moisten the surface of the Earth. And the circle continues on. A wondrous strand of life. And this, this is LOVE.
I can go on forever. Once I jump into the flow of life, it lifts me up and carries me on its wings, and welcomes me to the heaven that transforms everyday ordinary, into the miraculous extraordinary.
The force of love is surging through us all. All we need to do is open our eyes to something as simple as, a breath, and with it we realize that love is that which animates and connects us all.
Breathe deeply and remember, remember that love is life. Live your life as though you are walking an endless web. This web has unlimited potential and the directions you can take are none but your own. Each step you take is a new adventure, inviting you deeper into a magical place, where only you hold the key to how far you allow your imagination to expand.
The challenge of life and the acceptance of love within our lives can be likened to the endless wave. The rhythms of the ocean are in a constant flux. For us, the true magic lies within our awareness of all that is. We are all born surfers, children of the sea. And with this gift we are given the capacity to ride any wave in our path. The choice for us, is to catch this wave, and discover how high we are willing to fly. Once you tap into the power of the wave, the next gift is to recognize the beauty that runs through each and every droplet of water consisted within the one grand ocean.
When we open the door to the knowing of Love, suddenly we remember that contained within one drop of ocean, lays the beauty and vastness of the one endless ocean, connecting us all- LOVE.
Love to All in One,
~ Jimmy Page~
earthmothernews@yahoo.com
Thank you to all those who inspire me to remember.
It frustrates me endlessly to be somehow eluded from the truest acceptance and feelings of this four letter word. Words are only words, it’s the feelings we put into a word that creates a wave of immeasurable energetic force.
What feelings have we infused into the word love, and what meanings have countless souls attempted to place on this monumental word? These questions have the capacity to be pondered for many moons. Even to scrape the surface of this quandary is to pull away the illusions of time.
Sitting here diving into the depths of my understandings, I begin to search, like a boy lost in the forest, yearning to reunite with his mother. Each tree that surrounds and seemingly reaches out to me contain the simplistic love that I try so hard to embrace, to accept, to be.
I ask myself over and over again, how can a force all encompassing as love, be so extremely hard to accept and deeply infuse into this being that I am. The knowledge contained on this subject is as vast as a canyon, and deep as the farthest reaches of the ocean. With all this knowledge, much which I have absorbed over my life times, and still, the simple deep seated feeling of love, continues to elude me.
The funny thing about all this/ is/ I do know love. It’s so simple, yet my silly little mind conjures up a giant bag of tricks, all the smoke and mirrors you can imagine, and with them they fog my lens and disturb the tranquil pool of understanding and acceptance that I know lies somewhere beneath the surface.
I have to constantly remind myself - love is all around me. It is this invisible force that infuses each and every cell of life.-
I suppose this is a big gripe in life for me. I ponder the difficulties of embracing such a simple yet unfathomable force of life. All the trials and tribulations of life, often pose such a threat/ to the remembrance/ of the soft breath of love/ which caresses each and every one of us/ with unending blessings.
Yet, when life bombards us with the daily upheavals of surviving, of keeping heads above water as we are tossed and tumbled in the collective calamities of everyday living, this is when we lose our connections.
I have to dig deep within myself to revive the beat of my heart, and remember the rhythms of love never die. It truly is, a wild ride, filled with intensity, mundanity, and everything in between.
But I do remember, and this is what’s most important. Love does exist, it lives and breathes within all of us. It envelops the entirety of existence and beyond. I find love in the littlest things; my son’s laugh as he entertains himself in a seemingly quiet corner. It’s the moment my child informs me that I am his best friend in the whole wide world. It lies within the snow, uplifted from the ground and dancing, sparkling in the morning rays of the glorious sun.
As I recall these memorable moments, the vibrancy of love, ignites my emotions, and stirs the tears of joy that lay on the edges of my eyes. And this, this is what blows my mind. How can such a beautiful beat of life be lost in the hum drum of ordinary everyday living?
I believe the solution is simple, ordinary needs to be transformed from its mundane existence, into the ever changing extraordinary. If we dare ourselves, we can, and will change the fog into the light of an exceptional new day.
Each and every moment has the opportunity to express to us, the force of love. The energy of the moment has endless possibilities. Our imaginations can guide us into an extraordinary life. With determination we can come to realize the undying love contained within each moment.
When I feel life bubbling with beauty, I breathe it in deep, and even though I must exhale, I know that within that breath I am absorbing the magic which is infused in each and every molecule of life. With this energetic boost I ignite the remembrance that love is as simple as a breath. The simplicity of love- is simply - the breath of life.
Nothing is separate from love. Love enraptures the entirety of the Universe. Its an endless web that intersects with each living thing and connects it all to the whole. We are all one.
As my breath rolls through me, I do my very best to know that the rhythm of my soul, is the rhythm of the Earth, and of the Universe. As you exhale the air from your lungs, I begin to inhale, and within this circle we become- unified- into one beautiful, living being.
Imagine the air as a strand of endless love. The trees emanate their love as the wind picks up and carries the sweet smell of the fruit bearing tree. In turn the strand moves forward and rolls into our nostrils, suddenly igniting our senses and connecting us with one of the many children of Earth. The strand continues on and you exhale, the air dances forth in a magical current that surges through all existence. The air rises higher and higher, and with it the moisture begins to fill the cloudy sky, it builds and builds, until suddenly it happens, RAIN. The strand extends itself further still. Blankets of wetness gently fall from the sky and moisten the surface of the Earth. And the circle continues on. A wondrous strand of life. And this, this is LOVE.
I can go on forever. Once I jump into the flow of life, it lifts me up and carries me on its wings, and welcomes me to the heaven that transforms everyday ordinary, into the miraculous extraordinary.
The force of love is surging through us all. All we need to do is open our eyes to something as simple as, a breath, and with it we realize that love is that which animates and connects us all.
Breathe deeply and remember, remember that love is life. Live your life as though you are walking an endless web. This web has unlimited potential and the directions you can take are none but your own. Each step you take is a new adventure, inviting you deeper into a magical place, where only you hold the key to how far you allow your imagination to expand.
The challenge of life and the acceptance of love within our lives can be likened to the endless wave. The rhythms of the ocean are in a constant flux. For us, the true magic lies within our awareness of all that is. We are all born surfers, children of the sea. And with this gift we are given the capacity to ride any wave in our path. The choice for us, is to catch this wave, and discover how high we are willing to fly. Once you tap into the power of the wave, the next gift is to recognize the beauty that runs through each and every droplet of water consisted within the one grand ocean.
When we open the door to the knowing of Love, suddenly we remember that contained within one drop of ocean, lays the beauty and vastness of the one endless ocean, connecting us all- LOVE.
Love to All in One,
~ Jimmy Page~
earthmothernews@yahoo.com
Thank you to all those who inspire me to remember.
Finding The Love You Never Lost
The beat of life is love. The love is within each of our hearts and eternally links us to each other. Each day that passes gives us the opportunity to experience this radiant love. The only way to truly experience love, is to embrace it in the moment. Love is not a commodity that we can gather and store for a rainy day. Love is the wind. Love is the sweet smell of flowers floating by on beautiful day. Love is all around us. Love is us. If we open ourselves to the moment, and fully embrace what life is offering us, we will realize that love is contained within every fiber of life. The key to finding love is knowing that we never lost it in the first place. Love beats strong in the heart of each and every soul. When we find a way to burn away the layers of open wounds and scars that surround the heart, we then find our inner gold that has always been with us.
Our love is a gift that we received the moment we were conceived. Throughout our lives as we grow and learn to live in society, we seem to forget that this gift of love was ever ours to embrace. We began to create the illusion that we are unworthy of love. Much of the world appears to believe that we must find someone to save us, someone to give us love. The word love seems to have lost its meaning somewhere within the translation of what it is.
Love has never left us, and truth be told, we need not seek love from outside of ourselves. When we can love who we are, we suddenly realize that love is all around us. Love is what makes life live and breathe. The animating force of life is love.
When we can remember what love is, we find that all the illusions along the way that prevented us from seeing who we are were simply that, illusions. Life has a way of distracting us from discovering our truest potentials. It is sometimes hard to find the time to find who we are and where the mystery of love can be found.
Can we remember how to retrieve the gift of Love? Yes! Yes! And Yes! GO within yourself and start to look beyond your everyday tasks of basic survival. Allow your self to breathe and relax. Go deeper and begin to peel away the layers that separate you from the love that lies deep within your heart. As you burn through the layers of separation, be kind with yourself. These things take time. When you give yourself the space and time to rediscover the love within, you will soon uncover what it is that holds you back from further experiencing love. Dig deeper and let the constraints that hold you back be released. Allow yourself to experience freedom. Love is a gift that has always been with you.
Embrace the presence of love within yourself, and with it you will know that love lives and breathes within and without. You are a blessed being of light and love, and your love continues on, eternally.
Much Love to You!
Jimmy Page
earthmothernews@yahoo.com
Our love is a gift that we received the moment we were conceived. Throughout our lives as we grow and learn to live in society, we seem to forget that this gift of love was ever ours to embrace. We began to create the illusion that we are unworthy of love. Much of the world appears to believe that we must find someone to save us, someone to give us love. The word love seems to have lost its meaning somewhere within the translation of what it is.
Love has never left us, and truth be told, we need not seek love from outside of ourselves. When we can love who we are, we suddenly realize that love is all around us. Love is what makes life live and breathe. The animating force of life is love.
When we can remember what love is, we find that all the illusions along the way that prevented us from seeing who we are were simply that, illusions. Life has a way of distracting us from discovering our truest potentials. It is sometimes hard to find the time to find who we are and where the mystery of love can be found.
Can we remember how to retrieve the gift of Love? Yes! Yes! And Yes! GO within yourself and start to look beyond your everyday tasks of basic survival. Allow your self to breathe and relax. Go deeper and begin to peel away the layers that separate you from the love that lies deep within your heart. As you burn through the layers of separation, be kind with yourself. These things take time. When you give yourself the space and time to rediscover the love within, you will soon uncover what it is that holds you back from further experiencing love. Dig deeper and let the constraints that hold you back be released. Allow yourself to experience freedom. Love is a gift that has always been with you.
Embrace the presence of love within yourself, and with it you will know that love lives and breathes within and without. You are a blessed being of light and love, and your love continues on, eternally.
Much Love to You!
Jimmy Page
earthmothernews@yahoo.com
Thursday, March 11, 2010
In It
Oh I am livin in it right now....That being my shit.
I am always amazed how life can throw you up against the wall and through nobodies fault but my own a continual slapping in the face seems to be a relentless fight with my self.
This may make no sense at all, or maybe it makes perfect sense. No matter, this mentally hurts my brain. I am a very analytical person. Each moment is a microscopic view of the whole. I can pick apart the moment a million times. This is a blessing and a curse. Right now it seems to be a bit of a curse.
Without getting too personal, lets say I am going through some shit right now. I am from my point of view a pretty aware Being on many levels, so when I fall into a ditch and fling poo at space, it can be a bit frustrating. I see the bigger picture and along the way I ask myself why? Why am I not letting go of old shit? Why am I digging a hole that leads to a seeming nowhere land?
Really at this present moment I am not sure. I have a few theories, but all in all I think I am resorting back to a comfortable discomfort. Its like I am afraid to push forward so I dig back into the bag of shits past. And I will tell you this, Its doing me no good. I am only becoming more frustrated.
The past is a bag of shit in many ways. Sure it has its highlights, but to live in the past is in my eyes comparable to dying. This may seem harsh, but for me, true.
The way my life has been growing into the moment for the past 7 or so years has been amazing, so when I suddenly find myself up to my elbows in the shit of my past, I get a bit angry.
I need to shift my view. My energy needs to lighten up. This is easy for me to say, its the doing that I seem to have trouble with. I know how to get out of this spot, but for some strange reason I feel like I need to be here. And this makes no fucking sense to me. How could something that makes me miserable be of service to me.
Maybe I need to see this from a different angle. Could it be that at a certain point I get so deep in this crap that I shift so extremely that I will forever be changed, for the better I would like to think.
This is a hard, very hard place to be. I am by no means looking for sympathy. I am just doing my best to cope with where I am. And I guess this is how I need to do it right now.
I know somewhere deep in my heart that I will be OK. No it's not easy being here right now, but its OK. Somehow I will push through this and be stronger for it.
I guess the question now is how much deeper will I allow myself to go until I break through this heap of shit and discover more of who I am and all that I am to be.
Thanks for listening,
~Jimmy~
I am always amazed how life can throw you up against the wall and through nobodies fault but my own a continual slapping in the face seems to be a relentless fight with my self.
This may make no sense at all, or maybe it makes perfect sense. No matter, this mentally hurts my brain. I am a very analytical person. Each moment is a microscopic view of the whole. I can pick apart the moment a million times. This is a blessing and a curse. Right now it seems to be a bit of a curse.
Without getting too personal, lets say I am going through some shit right now. I am from my point of view a pretty aware Being on many levels, so when I fall into a ditch and fling poo at space, it can be a bit frustrating. I see the bigger picture and along the way I ask myself why? Why am I not letting go of old shit? Why am I digging a hole that leads to a seeming nowhere land?
Really at this present moment I am not sure. I have a few theories, but all in all I think I am resorting back to a comfortable discomfort. Its like I am afraid to push forward so I dig back into the bag of shits past. And I will tell you this, Its doing me no good. I am only becoming more frustrated.
The past is a bag of shit in many ways. Sure it has its highlights, but to live in the past is in my eyes comparable to dying. This may seem harsh, but for me, true.
The way my life has been growing into the moment for the past 7 or so years has been amazing, so when I suddenly find myself up to my elbows in the shit of my past, I get a bit angry.
I need to shift my view. My energy needs to lighten up. This is easy for me to say, its the doing that I seem to have trouble with. I know how to get out of this spot, but for some strange reason I feel like I need to be here. And this makes no fucking sense to me. How could something that makes me miserable be of service to me.
Maybe I need to see this from a different angle. Could it be that at a certain point I get so deep in this crap that I shift so extremely that I will forever be changed, for the better I would like to think.
This is a hard, very hard place to be. I am by no means looking for sympathy. I am just doing my best to cope with where I am. And I guess this is how I need to do it right now.
I know somewhere deep in my heart that I will be OK. No it's not easy being here right now, but its OK. Somehow I will push through this and be stronger for it.
I guess the question now is how much deeper will I allow myself to go until I break through this heap of shit and discover more of who I am and all that I am to be.
Thanks for listening,
~Jimmy~
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